Work life and Motherhood: Maintaining a Balance

For generations, working mothers have industriously juggled between being a mother and pursuing their dream career path effectively. Many have made a success of this daunting struggle, while some women on the other hand eventually had to sacrifice a prospective work career to become a fulfilling wife and mother.
The chance to attempt making a balance between these two worlds don’t even occur for some women, as certain policies in some companies give no room for working mothers. This is a major reason why some career driven women don’t give a thought to becoming mothers till they are way up the ladder, and have proved their worth in such companies.
Amongst others, one sure way to stay on top of your game as a working mother is being properly organized. Not every woman can be a super-mom but with determination, a seamless equilibrium between work and maternity can be maintained. Here are some more helpful pointers:
Carefully think through and weigh what fulfils you as an individual – a fulltime career success or motherhood?
Always plan head. Develop organized routines that work both at home and at work and most importantly, stick to these routines.
Learn to set boundaries at home and in the office. Do your best in executing given assignments effectively within official working hours and when the day is over, don’t be pressured to succumb to the dividends of extra time. And at home, be firm in saying No to unimportant things.
As important as it is to give your kids all the love and nurturing they deserve, don’t overindulge them with your attention. Set limits!
Appreciate and make the most of whatever little time you get to spend with your family. Fun doesn’t have to be a day out at the parks or shopping mall; you will be amazed at how much amusement and satisfaction a simple indoor game or watching a movie with the kids can bring.
Saturdays and Sundays are a blessing; don’t spend them engaging in frivolities or attending irrelevant parties. Use your weekend wisely in planning and preparing for the busy week ahead.
 
Make conscious efforts to be a part of your kid’s education. Spend some time helping with homework, attend school open days, and be friendly with teachers and even the school coordinator. Going this extra mile may be real tasking but it’s sure worth it. Be certain that by this, you will not in any way be in the dark about your child’s intellectual development.
 
Where possible, get a nanny or a help to assist with the domestic workload. In doing this, always ensure your house-help/nanny is gotten from a reliable source. Don’t delegate responsibilities and simply leave the nanny/house-help to her own world; stay in charge!
 
Above all, take good care of yourself. Eat right and get adequate sleep –staying healthy and maintaining a balanced mind is crucial if you must prioritize right in taking accurate decisions.

Pregnant? Be Gorgeous and Fit!

Most women fear pregnancy not only because of the hormonal changes, possible complications and the pains of labour and delivery but because pregnancy brings its own set of beauty challenges. The body changes rapidly and this affects the appearance of the Mother-to-be, thus women get concerned on how they will look like after all the weight gain, skin changes and the inevitable baby bump while pregnant.
It is important to maintain positive self-image and self-esteem during pregnancy as these contribute to a happy and healthy pregnancy and really, there’s no reason not to look your best for these nine months – you’ve earned it, you deserve it, and you need it!
A healthy lifestyle…Eat A Well-Balanced Diet
You must know that good nutrition during pregnancy is vital to delivering a healthy baby. Everything you eat, apply, or come into contact with may affect not only you but also your baby, hence it’s pertinent you include fruits and veggies to your diet. You can get as much needed vitamins and minerals from them. Stay away from fat and go for lean meats. Wean off on caffeine if you are a coffee addict. This is a stimulant and may affect your time of sleep and rest; caffeine also has detrimental effects on your unborn child.
Don’t Underestimate The Power Of Makeup and Moisturizers
Makeup can do wonders during pregnancy. It can be used as a tool to feel pretty and in control. That’s particularly important during a time when many women feel like they’ve lost control of their body. So go ahead and have some fun: Try a new shade of lipstick or eye shadow. Spice your looks with a nice mousse blush and moisturize your lips in colours that make you feel confident and elegant. And of course, treat yourself to a pedicure / manicure.
Your skin may become drier than usual or become splotchy during pregnancy. Not to worry, it’s the same pregnancy hormones that sent your emotions into an uproar that’s at work – a good moisturizer is sure to work wonders in such situations (it’s suggested that moisturizers with vitamin A should be used fairly).
Dress Right: Feel Comfortable & Sexy while Pregnant
Gone are the days when a pregnant belly was something to be hidden, not celebrated; the days of tent dresses and “baby on board” T-shirts are over.
There are so many great choices of fashionable maternity clothes available that your biggest challenge will be sticking to your budget. Choose maternity clothes that make you feel and look sexy. You often see pregnant women in oversized clothes such as tee shirts and old fashioned maternity skirts. They are comfy alright but if you are going for sexy and want to feel confidence & beautiful, you have to think twice and go for fashionable clothings which are in style and are comfortable as well.

Top Natural Hair Care Secrets

Taking the Big Chop or doing a long term transitioning is definitely a bold step that takes a lot of courage.  A thousand and one reasons could have led to you embracing natural hair but guess what? You aren’t alone in this. Going natural is a current fashion trend or should I say trending movement…thumbs up to all the naturalistas in the house!
Although keeping your hair natural has its advantages (that’s a story for another day), being a naturalista can be real daunting but with patience and the right hair care, you can bring out the lustrous curls and beauty in your hair. And of course, make it the envy of all eyes.
I hope some of the following natural hair secrets I’m going to share will help in your natural hair journey:
Natural oils and ingredients like coconut oil, almond oil, olive oil, carrot oil, aloe vera, and shea butter are the best choices when buying hair products like hair shampoos, conditioners, moisturizers, curl enhancers, etc.
The lifestyle of a naturalista includes a healthy hair washing regimen at least twice every month.
Using water and glycerine helps in retaining quality hair moisture by preventing tangles and keeping your hair soft always.       
Love to use curling irons? You’ve got to take it slow with the heat! Curling irons, hair straighteners, blow dryers, hot iron combs will damage your hair. Thanks to the high temperature of these heat appliances, frequent use causes brittleness in hair resulting in hair breakage. You should reduce the number of times you use them, and if you have to, always apply heat protection shampoos and moisturizers.
As a naturalista, apple cider vinegar should never be missing in your closet. ACV helps in maintaining the right pH balance in your hair. ACV also rids your hair of itchy scalp and dandruff causing bacteria. 
Detoxifying your scalp helps remove toxins from your hair roots. This will also disengage dead skin from your pores. Scalp detox should be a part of your hair care therapy (watch out for DIY tips on making your own scalp detox masks).
You want to see your hair radiant and lustrous? A well balanced diet not only nourishes your body but does some wonders for your hair too. Diets rich in protein, whole grains, dairy products, vegetables and fruits will help your hair immensely; indulge in them!
Already making some progress on your natural hair journey but tired of having same look? Use wigs from time to time to change your look. They will also keep your hair protected and moisturized.
There’s so much more coming your way on how to enjoy a successful natural hair journey…stay connected to this space!
 

MakeUp How To’s: The Cat Eye or Winged Eyeliner

The winged or cat eyeliner has been in existence since the 50’s. It is very flattering for most eye shapes and requires practice for you to get it right. You can use a color pencil, gel or liquid eyeliner
Apply eyeliner to your upper eyelash line
Use your liner to draw a line as close to your upper lash line as possible, start from the inner lash line to the outer corner. The line doesn’t necessarily have to be neat but it determines the width of your eye liner. To create a dramatic look you can make it a thick line but for a subtle look go for a thin line. You can either draw a single stroke line or many short strokes
To create your wing; draw a line starting from the last lash outwards; you can now decide the length and angle to the eyeliner.
After drawing your wing, draw a line back to your upper lash line, this should create an empty triangle on your upper lid. Color in the triangle.
To measure out how far you want the wing to go, hold a pencil at the end point of your bottom lash line, point it upward to look like a continuation of your lower lash line, then draw a line out to the end of the wing, the line should match the measurement you visualized while holding the pencil, fill in and thicken the line.

You can clean it or any mistake with a cotton bud soaked in makeup remover
Make sure you use your liner after using your eyeshadow and before using your mascara
Use a hands free mirror so you can use both of your hands while trying to apply the eyeliner.
If you’re using liquid eyeliner, let it dry briefly before you blink to prevent it from smearing.

 
 
Sources: m.wikihow.com www.preen.me
 

Home Remedy For Skin Tags

Hello Ladies. I’m sure you’ve come across a couple of people who have skin tags…. Or you might personally be battling with it around your neck and chin area. They are those tiny dark clumps of skin you could find on your face and parts of your body
It can be a tad embarrassing, especially when you want to rock that really cute off-the-shoulder dress. If you’re sure you’re ready to take it out, here are the two ways you can achieve that:
CUTTING OFF THE SKIN TAG
First sterilize the scissors with boiling water, flame, hydrogen peroxide, or alcohol before l usage. Use ice cubes on the skin tag for about 10-15 minutes to numb the area. Now, aiming at a position close to the skin, cut off the skin tag as fast as possible. Use a cotton for wiping off the blood. Apply a little salt or antiseptic cream after this procedure to prevent infection and for faster healing.
THREADING THE SKIN TAGS
This involves the use of a thread or a string for blocking the blood circulation to the skin tag.  Lack of circulation will cause the skin tag to shrink, dry off and finally fall off.
Tie a thin string or a dental floss around the skin tag tightly. Leave it on for several days until the skin tags comes out. The procedure may cause some pain but I think it’s easier than the cutting method.
 
Source: GlamByTee makeovers
 
 

Travel In Style!

The holidays are almost here and a lot of us are already planning our own brief Easter travels. Have you paid much attention to your luggage lately?
Whether it’s for a weekend away or a fancy holiday abroad, your luggage should mirror your inner travel goddess. Don’t leave home without a stylish suitcase that can fit your necessities without weighing you down. Glide through the airport, and arrive in style in any if these stylish carryons.
STICK TO FLATS
Although we’ve seen many celebrities walk out from the terminal in sky high stilettoes and pumps, the reality is that she probably has someone else lugging her baggage for her, whereas carrying an overflowing tote, laptop bag and roll suitcase by yourself is really only manageable in flats – but cute flats nonetheless. Consider easy to slip on ballerina flats or a pair of fancy sneakers to make your journey through the airport or bus Park a breeze.
BRING A WARM JACKET ON YOUR TRAVELS
No matter how warm it is wherever you’re flying from or to, it’s always 10 to 20 degrees colder in the plane. Don’t set yourself up for catching a cold. There is nothing worse than getting sick on a holiday. Don’t just bring any type of jacket. Make sure the jacket is luxe and stylish.
CARRY A BIG TOTE
Be an abiding airplane passenger and do not bring more than one carryon baggage and personal item with you. Not only is it the rule, it also keeps you sane from trying to keep track of all your belongings. The solution to this problem is a big-ass tote. You can fit everything in there, laptop and fashion magazines included. If you have a stylish backpack you’ve been dying to rock, this is your opportunity.
KEEP YOUR MAKEUP SIMPLE
There’s no need for full-glam on a journey. The dry, stale air, the bad lighting and long hours are not ideal for foundations, eyeliners and lipstick. All you need is a trusty lip balm to keep your lips hydrated.
 

Confessions of A Lagos Mum-My Life

My only resolve this New Year, as I have given up making New Year resolutions 8 years ago was not to work during the weekends. Whether it was bringing work home or spending 3 to 7 hours at the office on Saturday or Sunday, I was not having any of that any more. So when faced with that option that Friday I decided to remain in the office and get the work done. So I called my husband who was also working late, we both agreed to get home at 11 PM and make our children the focus of the weekend. I called the nanny and gave her clear instructions on the course of events for the rest of the day. Secretly, I planned to steal at least an hour alone with my husband before mid-night.
 
One can imagine my reaction and thoughts when I arrived at home to find all my children in front of the television in different positions, doing different activities (including sleeping.) After our usual theatrical greetings of my return (that of their father is a much larger production) we all set about our bedtime rituals. As they were all in their jamies, they straightened the living room and put away their toys.
 
When my younger three asked for bed time stories I declined telling them it was one of the consequences of not being in bed at the right time and the other being no television the next day despite it being a Saturday. I then faced my older two, asking for an explanation of the camp by the television at 10 PM. Other than the new movie out on one of the children’s channels on cable, my children’s self discipline was on an all time low because they failed to get to bed an hour earlier when the movie ended. They too were informed that there would be no television all of the next day with additional chores.
 
Then my soliloquy began. This was becoming a repeated incidence for my older two though I took comfort in the fact they had little ones with them while the nanny was on the phone. I knew my husband and I had to talk it through and bring it to an end. I remembered the days when the only options were NTA Channel 5, NTA Channel 10, LTV 8, ABS and OGTV to name a few. The option of 24 hours of children’s programmes wasn’t available and I remember my mother always being home before sunset. I then projected into the future; we wanted this to be our last year paying rent.
 
We had to cut off all treats including the cinemas and others the kids enjoyed and I knew my older two really missed those. Notwithstanding, they all had to stick to their routine in this season of our lives. Did I forget to mention, I successfully made peppered snail with green, change my outfit and the atmosphere in my bedroom while this monologue was going on. Also, the only unromantic thing my husband did that night was to disconnect the cable while we both agreed to tackle this issue. I did get my wordless prayer answered with a bit extra. Jesus Igwe.

Confessions of A Lagos Mum: Hour Glass

Recently, some women in my form in boarding school got together. We decided to come together under one umbrella, have meetings and support each other in any way we could. So we created a chat group on WhatsApp, and one on Face book and we are also looking into creating a website for ourselves. Less than a fortnight into the creation of the chat, 105 of the 152 girls had been added to the chat. Looking at the bio data of the 105 we got so far there are 38 clinicians, 26 business owners, 5 lecturers and 2 stay at home mums. The rest are in the civil service, armed forces, information technology, banking and telecoms in the different sectors of the economy.
These figures alone make us all agree with Jennifer Hudson’s statement, ‘’I am so glad I was born a woman in this time.’’ Also the statement, ’’This is the best time to be born a woman.’’ It took just 72 hours to have a meeting with 25 of us in attendance. There was so much left over that almost everyone took something home and we were able to thank our hostess’ husband with a bottle of Hennessey and a small tray of snails. On the downside, 3 of us are drifters and were unable to finish their university education and are yet to acquire any skill to irk out a decent living. 2 of us have been widowed, the first after only 3 years of marriage and one child.
 Nine of us are of blessed memory, 2 as a result of accidents, one of us was shot in cold blood by her husband of 12 years and the rest were due to complications from child birth. 3 women have never married while 28 are divorced. This reality was the hardest to put away as just another statistic. So as I looked at our pictures on Facebook, the other coordinators related the events that led to the different tragedies we had faced over 25 years.
I could not help but notice despite their geographical locations, personalities and backgrounds, so many of us had lost that lustre and glow that we took for granted while growing up. Thanks to modern technology we were able to upload tons of our school pictures on Facebook and have them all side by side – graduations, weddings and award pictures. It was quite clear how much pain and sorrow had crept into the once innocent and care free eyes and hearts of so many of us. No matter how we smiled, did our hair and make-up, like stubborn stains it could not be wiped away or properly camouflaged.
I forgot to add, in 2009, one of us delivered a 3.75 kg baby boy after her fallopian tube had been surgically removed 9 years before he was born. He is a bundle of great joy and energy. Again, it was extremely difficult to overlook the reality that his mum has one of the greatest glows of us all on Facebook and at our meeting as we voted officials.
 
 

How To Keep The Fire In Your Relationship

A serious relationship isn’t defined by the amount of time you two have been together, it is defined by the amount of energy you continue to invest in getting to know each other after the honeymoon period is over. 
Relationships don’t come with a check engine light, so don’t wait until it stops working to finally address problems.
Don’t Get Too Comfortable
You start planning for the future, money for rent, money for school fees etc. The era of dates has come to an end. We all know how the economy is these days but special treats, dates are things you should plan for as well. Turn up together, fine dine together, vacation together, that’s how you keep creating memories and bonds.
Please do away with the unsightly night gowns, hair nets and house clothes that can turn a brother off.
The Bedroom
They say a man cannot eat rice everyday. Please be his pasta, his ravioli, his eba, his lasagna. You get the point. The newness and excitement can fade a little but always be open minded about trying something different. Keep things fresh, be spontaneous and most importantly be open about what turns you on.
There is such a thing as over expression
Just to assure you, you will not die if you don’t express every thought that pops up in your mind especially the negative. You can vent or move towards a solution depending on which is most important.
Resist the urge to be your partner’s mother
The day my father slipped and fell in the bathroom was an eye opener for all of us (perhaps for different reasons). The poor man heard his wife’s voice and ran to the bathroom to quickly clean it up and spread the towel properly. Gbam! Was the sound we heard. He was simply trying to avoid a lecture that would have happened if she saw the bathroom.  The hot secretary at work isn’t telling him how to chew his food properly or shut the doors without making too much noise. Correct with love, Avoid being a nag.
Look from his point of view
Talk in order to understand each other not to convince someone to see from your point of view.
Be Creative
No one knows your man better than you. We find happiness when we create happiness for others. Always be your man’s source of joy. Little special treats like coming home after a long day to meet his favourite meal or a chilled drink during his football match.
Share with us how you have keep the fire burning in your relationship.

How to Stay Motivated and Achieve Your Goals

Staying motivated can be tough under the best circumstances. Whether it involves motivation to get in shape, get your business running, finish your coursework etc. It takes work. So how can you stay motivated when your to-do list runs to four pages, when you have not had electricity in two weeks, when you just got another rejection letter, when the car air conditioner and your washing machine decide to stop working at the same time and you can’t find time in the day to work on your own personal projects?
How to Stay Motivated
1. Set a goal and visualize it down to the last detail.
You have to see it in your mind’s eye first. Athletes visualize their performance ahead of time right down to the smell of the sweat dripping down their faces as they cross the finish line. See yourself achieving your goal.
2. Wake Up Earlier
The early bird gets the fattest worm. I know this is an old saying but the values are true. You get more work done when you start your day earlier.
3. Make a list of the reasons why you want to accomplish the goal.
In our busy, distracting world, it’s easy to get blown off course. This is why you need to ground yourself in your goal. For extra “success insurance,” write your list with a pen.
4. Break the goal down into smaller pieces; set short term goals and rewards.
 A major source of stress in our lives comes from the feeling that we have an impossible number of things to do. If you take on a project and try to do the whole thing all at once, you’re going to be overwhelmed. Break it down into the smallest realistic steps and only do one at a time.
5. Have a strategy, but be prepared to change course.
The more you review the plan, the more you get ideas on more effective ways to solve problems. The plan can change but the goal remains the same.
6. Get the help you need
The urge to be superstitious can come in here especially with us Africans but it helps to tell a trusted person your goals so you can get motivation from an outside source.
7. Deal with lack of motivation.
Some days will test you. It is (almost) inevitable that at some point along the way, whether because of temporary setbacks or tiredness, you will need a little boost. When that happens, I think of what others have endured to reach their targets and keep going.
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up.
 8. Continually check in with your reasons for carrying on.
Don’t become distracted by the praise or criticisms you may receive. Check that your motives are intact.
 
So how do you stay motivated? We’d love to hear from you.